I as soon as talked about on-line how a lot I like wet days, as a result of I by no means should go outdoors. Then I would possibly have stated one thing about going 5 or 6 days with out leaving the home, and hellooooo, Judgey McJudgersons!
Look, web folks, I do not want your pity. I HAVE CATS.
In addition to, I DO go away the home now and again. Typically even voluntarily. Nevertheless, with Florida mainly an enormous steam sauna crammed with mosquitoes proper now, I want getting my sunshine by a window – and with the A/C at full blast, thankyouverymuch.
Some folks assume a scarcity of reside social interplay could make you go somewhat humorous within the head, however I say the reverse is true. Actually, day by day I see completely socialized bakers churning out silent, frosting-soaked pleas for psychological intervention:
The signal says, “Turkey formed cake.” Inform me this is not a cry for assist.
And I am not speaking about particular orders right here, the place you possibly can perceive, say, Darth Vader driving a My Little Pony. I am speaking the stuff they put out within the show circumstances, for all of the world to see and quietly again away from, being cautious to make no sudden actions.
We name it, “Somebody please simply make the voices cease screaming.”
[P.S. – Two words: “Blue boobs.”]
And now, edible ghost chickens, as a result of, yeah, that is completely regular:
“Bok Bok B’WoooOOOooo!”
The one who made this offers with folks all day.
Let’s all take a second to essentially let this one sink in:
Let’s simply say I would not invite this baker over to babysit.
(Why are there ghost flies across the edge? And two monsters hiding beside the crib? WHY?)
For all the times I’ve spent peacefully working at dwelling, it is by no means as soon as occurred to me to make edible toes out of gummi rabbits.
…and that just about makes me unhappy; I guess this baker’s head could be a enjoyable place to go to.
I clearly bear in mind my pre-blog days, in fact, again once I had “regular,” people-riddled work locations. The worst was the return desk at a TJ Maxx. After a day of coping with deranged clients who insisted the waffle iron that also had waffles in it was “by no means used,” I am fairly certain even these would’ve appeared like a good suggestion:
The trick is to eat them earlier than they begin speaking.
So bear in mind, extroverts, earlier than you choose us hermits hiding behind the blinds and dressing our cats as Stargate characters, generally getting out of the home is not all the time the reply.
Typically folks simply do higher on their very own.
And generally the mutant Strawberry Ladybug factor simply must die.
Hey Jill E., Niomi W., Anony M., Brocha S., Kelly W., Susan Ok., Carolyn T., Bethany, & Dani S, get together at my place? Physician Meow-Kay and Tail-La would love to fulfill you!
P.S. Hey, you understand what could be a superbly affordable buy to make proper now?
A taco fanny pack.
I repeat, A TACO FANNY PACK. With drink holder!